Dr. DARREN CHUA

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18April

2019

Prisoner of Hope

I have always been endlessly optimistic and is the type of person who believes a lesson is learned in every experience through positive attitude and constructive perspective which matters. With these right attitudes and perspectives, I have always believe that challenges, obstacles and trials are all stepping stone to lift us up to our next level of success.

But what do I do when I are face with something so huge and so daunting that every fiber of me was just shouting the word, “This is impossible!” For those of you who may be acquainted with my story, that was what I was facing post-stroke back in 2000.

During the early stages of my recovery, I was very much like a prisoner trapped within my own physical body – impotent to move, powerless to speak and unable to see half my visual field. In many ways, I was more trapped than a prisoner in a jail cell.

It was Martin Luther King, Jr that said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” I realized that I have a choice and that was to choose between becoming a prisoner who was trapped within his very own body or a prisoner of hope.

I chose the latter and that has made all the difference.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of “The Matrix” which has, in many ways, re-defined cinematic experience. While the movie by itself is an awesome experience just to enjoy, its deeper philosophical discussions on choice versus cause-and-effect is a timely reminder that it is though the choices that we make in life that will define who we are to become.

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20January

2018

How To Have A Winning Mindset (part 3/3)

Whenever we have a conversation on “Winning”, the natural image that most of us have is that of a person standing on a podium and receiving his award or trophy. After all, the common definition of the word entails “relating to victory in a contest or competition”. However, there is another definition of winning is of “attractive or endearing”. For example, “he has a winning personality” or “she has such a winning smile”. When we speak of a winning mindset, it is also the latter that we are referring to.

I believe there are a few attributes to a winning mindset and today, we shared about six of these over the past weeks. Today we will talk about the final three.

1) Know Thyself

 No one is perfect. We all have our flaws and foibles. Being a winner is not about being perfect and always succeeding regardless of the odds.

 It is about knowing our weaknesses and planning for them. To be a winner we may need to outsource or delegate tasks that are difficult for us. Focus on our core genius.

 Being self-aware is also about empathy. If we understand how those around us feel, and can feel their situations and pain, it gives us a broad base of understanding and create fresh strategies to achieve our wins.

 2) Believe in Yourself

 Confidence can be described as a belief in one's ability to succeed. Striking a healthy balance is the key. Too much of it and we may stumble into unforeseen obstacles, but having too little may prevent us from taking risks and seizing opportunities in life.

 A bulk of research shows that when people are put in situations where they are expected to fail, their performance does plummet. They turn into different people. Their head literally shuts down, and they end up confirming the expectations. When they're expected to win, their performance shoots back up. Same person, difference expectations.

 Therefore self-belief matter!

 3) “Act as if”

What does “act as if” mean?  It means that if you want something, you must act as if you already have it in order to get it.  So, if you want to be healthy, you must act as if you are already healthy.  If you want some new friends, you must act as if you already have friends.

 “Act as if” is a simple way to explain the paradox that makes up reality: we get what we want when we stop wanting.  Once we drop the “wanting” and simply feel like we already have what we want, it comes to us.

 

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